And the Results Are In...

I received the MyChart alert.

You have new test results.

Going into my double mastectomy, my greatest fear wasn’t the surgery itself. It was what the pathology would show on the other side.

When they removed all of my breast tissue, what would they find?

The answer was this:

A pathologic complete response.

Which in plain old English means no cancer found!!

Nothing.

Zero.

Zilch.

Not a cell.

When they examined the tissue they removed, there was no residual cancer. That is the absolute best case scenario. With my diagnosis, it also gives me the best chance for long term recovery.

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME.

The tumor was already gone after round four of chemo, so I had reason to feel reassured. But as many of you know, this is not my first cancer rodeo.

It is the first time cancer has been in my body. But when my daughter, Caroline, was diagnosed and later lost her battle to cancer in 2007, I saw this journey play out in a very different way.

So when that MyChart alert came through, I sat on the patio, stared at my phone, and did what any normal person would do.

I closed the app.

Then I went inside and took a nap.

Seriously. I did.

How could I sleep knowing the answer was right there, on the other side of an unopened app?

I think that says a lot about where I had come in terms of surrender.

The day before surgery, I was outside doing my devotionals when an overwhelming peace came over me. A peace that allowed me to say, “Let go and let God.”

Whatever happened, He would take care of me.

Whatever happened, He would provide.

He always has, and He always will.

When I woke up from my nap, I found my husband and showed him the alert.

His first response was, “Open it now.”

So that is exactly what we did.

The MyChart Moment

Let me just say, if you have ever lived in the MyChart world, you know there is something very wrong about getting life changing test results on your phone without anyone there to explain them.

You can find out you have cancer. You can find out you have Alzheimer’s. You can be alerted to any number of life altering diagnoses while sitting on your couch, standing in a grocery store, or apparently, trying to take a nap.

Then you are left to figure out what it all means.

And pathology reports are not exactly written in plain English.

When we opened the report, the first thing I saw was my original diagnosis. For about five seconds, I thought that meant the cancer was still there.

Then I read further.

No residual carcinoma seen.

Lymph nodes negative.

No cancer detected.

My husband started crying.

I sat there, numb, kind of like my new boobs.

I didn’t know what to feel.

I thought I should leap out of my chair, start screaming, and do some kind of cancer free dance.

But I didn’t.

Instead, I copied and pasted the entire pathology report, put it into my AI assistant, Charley, and asked her to put it in plain English.

Her answer?

Best pathological outcome possible.

Prayers answered.

God moving mountains, just as I knew He could and prayed He would.

ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD.

The Mountain I Could Not See Over

I’m sitting here almost six months to the day from my diagnosis, and when I look back, it feels like it all went so fast.

At the time, it looked like a huge mountain in front of me.

When you are standing at the base of a mountain, sometimes you can’t even see the top. You have no idea what the view looks like from up there. All you can see is this massive, overwhelming thing in front of you.

You wonder where in the world you’re going to get the energy, resources, stamina, and resilience to climb it.

I can tell you where mine came from.

It came from God.

It came from science.

It came from the people who went before me.

It came from the people who walked beside me.

And it came from every person who had the courage to share their story so someone else would not have to walk alone.

Six months before I found my lump, a dear friend went through her own breast cancer scare. She confided in me. She shared her journey. She met with a surgical oncologist, one she would not end up needing.

But six months later, I would.

On the night of my diagnosis, I already had that doctor’s name. I scheduled an appointment with her. And she would become the same doctor who would later tell me I was cancer free.

That is not lost on me.

Neither is the science.

The research and treatment options for HER2 positive breast cancer are incredible. What once felt much more frightening is now highly treatable because of targeted therapies and drugs that did not exist in the same way years ago.

Thousands of women went before me. Because of their strength, their participation, their response, and sometimes even their lack of response, the treatments got better.

And I am living proof that they work.

I know some of you are thinking, “Friends, science!”

And yes.

Science.

Thank God for science.

For today, I am cancer free.

There is no detectable cancer in my body.

It is gone.

I do not know how many times I can say it before it finally sinks in.

But I am saying it out loud this time.

Cancer free.

In true Karen form I had soooo much to say when I went to share this news. Rather than share a novel (although I will some day soon:) I decided to break it into a 2 part post. Stay tuned for Part 2, and the true gifts and magic behind my amazing journey from breast cancer diagnosis to recovery.

Until then, ShineForward✨ Friends