Life Is Getting Messy Again

Life is getting messy again.

But this time, it’s nothing a good garden hose and power washer can’t clean up.

There is something soooo satisfying about power washing. Watching dark, mucky brick transform into something clean and new, it is invigorating, motivating. I get obsessed!

I’ve always loved working with yard tools and power tools. Yep, I’m the woman who wields the chainsaw to take down the overgrowth and cut logs for firewood.

When a male neighbor stands by with his arms crossed, wondering where my husband is and how he “lets me do such things,” I just smile.

True story! I have lived in three houses, and in every one of them nosy neighbors had opinions about my yard work hobbies.

I am blessed with an amazing husband who loves and supports me, despite my need to take control and get ‘er done. He gives  me space to ask for help when needed, and knows I won’t be deterred…even power washing during cancer treatment.

He knows that accomplishing what I can, when I can, is how I fight the good fight. Because that is who I am…a person who likes to get things done.

When Life Slows You Down

Then cancer came knocking in December. And it sidelined me more than I wanted to admit.

Four days a week at my 6 AM boot camp dwindled. Now, it is once in a while, when I feel my best between treatments. 

For the first time in two months, my eyes are not watering constantly. That alone feels like a huge win. Dry eyes, which ironically make your eyes water more, is a common side effect of Taxotere, one of the main chemo drugs I received. For a woman who doesn’t cry easily, I’ve been wiping my eyes constantly. Be glad you’re not driving in the car next to me!

I’ve shared before how incredibly blessed I am when it comes to side effects. My body tolerated treatment better than many, and my results were more than we hoped for by treatment number five.

I do not take that for granted and thank God every single day for getting me this far.

What Comes Next

So what is next?

A double mastectomy on June 1.

This procedure isn’t required for a positive outcome, but after weighing my options, it made the most sense for me. It will reduce the need for regular scans and follow ups, and honestly, the stress of waiting and wondering can be worse than the treatment itself.

I remember that feeling well from Caroline’s cancer journey.

No matter how strong my faith is, I’m still human. The question lingers, will it come back?

Maybe. Maybe not.

But if it does, we have options. We have an arsenal to rely on and we know my body responds well.

So here I sit, almost one month away from surgery that will once again put me on the sidelines, just as I was starting to feel like myself again.

Three steps forward, two steps back.

Isn’t that life?

Identity, Patience, and Perspective

Cancer has also sidelined my career.

It’s hard to book speaking and consulting engagements when you don’t know how you will feel week to week. That uncertainty forced me to step back, and in doing so, I lost a piece of my identity.

I am aware of it and it impacts me daily. But I remind myself, this is just a season.

The woman who comes out on the other side will be different, but she will also be better. She will have a new perspective to share with the audiences she is blessed to speak to, the teams she will coach and lead.

Shameless Marketing Plug: If you’re looking for someone to speak at your event in the Fall or into 2027, I’ll be back at it and can’t wait to inspire your audience ShineForward✨

Now let’s talk about patience.

It has never been my strength.

It’s not a resilience superpower of mine, it’s actually quite the opposite. I want it, and I want it yesterday, and I want it the way I want it.

Sound familiar? Definitely a bit of “A Karen” eeking out.

I can wear her well, but I also know there are moments I wish I was a little less of her.

And this journey has helped me see that.

The Power Washing Lesson

Because here is what I am learning.

Just like when you power wash, not everything comes perfectly clean. There are always remnants of wear and tear.

But those marks tell the story.

What has been walked on, what has been built, what has weathered storms.

Each of those imperfections are what make the surface unique.

So while the old Karen wants to pressure wash away cancer, the fear, the missed opportunities, the feeling of falling behind, the sense of weakness… the new version of Karen is learning to embrace it.

The scars. The battle wounds.

Both figurative and literal.

They are reminders that life is short, and we are given the opportunity to live it, own it and share it… every single day.

How we choose to show up, and what we do with the scars we collect along the way, that is up to us.

For You

I pray you never have to walk through cancer.

But I offer you this.

This lesson applies to everything.

Your job. Your marriage. Your health. Your mental wellness.

When you expect perfection on the other side of a messy season, you place unnecessary pressure on yourself. But when you accept that you will be different, and things will be different, something shifts.

And that shift is powerful.

Because different can be better. Different means growth. And if we are not growing, we are dying.

And I do not know about you, but that is not on my list any time soon!

The Beauty in the Mess

I had a blast power washing the patio!

Even more fun knowing we are hosting my daughter’s graduation party in a few weeks. You know how that goes, a party and a deadline mean home projects. Lots of them.

And yes, they bring stress and much to be accomplished…but the pride and joy of bringing family and friends together to celebrate this incredible milestone fills my heart in a way that money, prestige, or status never could.

Embrace the Mess!

Here’s to the messy stuff.

Here’s to the journey toward something new, cleaner.

And here is to giving ourselves the grace to believe that who we are becoming is better than where we started.

See you on the other side of messy!

ShineForward✨ friends,

Karen

If this post resonated with you, share it with someone walking through a hard season who may need the reminder that growth is rarely clean, easy, or perfect.