Family Vacation Survival Guide: 7 Secrets to Success and Sanity

Vacation season is officially here. The airports are packed, the sunscreen is stocked, and families everywhere are gearing up for some much-needed time away. But let’s be honest, traveling with the people we love most can sometimes feel more like an emotional obstacle course than a relaxing escape. 

Whether you’re heading to the lake, the beach, or across the ocean, one thing is true: you’re not just packing bags…you’re packing personalities.

I just got back from our first family trip to Europe. It was beautiful, hilarious, unforgettable and sometimes…quite horrible. Yep. I’m not just being dramatic but we’ll get to that in a minute.

Before  you zip up that suitcase and take off on your next family adventure, I want to share a few lessons I learned about navigating the mix of people, places, and personalities without losing your mind (or your passport).

Welcome to Our Traveling Circus

We’re not quite the Griswolds, but we’re a blended family and definitely a cast of characters. My husband is the surprise-and-detour “vacation” planner. (Keyword = vacation). Our oldest? She’s been living in Paris for a year and now considers herself a full-fledged local. She can make a career out of planning amazing trips. (Keyword = trips). Our youngest daughter is a quirky introvert who maxes out on human interaction by lunch. And me? I’m the one trying to keep everyone happy and functioning.

You can imagine how that played out.

7 Ways to Travel with Grace

Here’s what I leaned into to keep things from unraveling mid-itinerary and keep my blended family intact:

1. Before you go: Let Go and Let God

From the get-go, I had to remember I can’t control other people, places or things (shocking, I know!). Everyone has their own journey and their own quirks. Instead of trying to manage the group, I tried to focus on showing up with grace and letting go of the rest.

Truth be told… I wasn’t so good at this. It took a good mid-trip meltdown to surrender and wave the white flag. When I stopped trying to “make it perfect,” it was actually pretty awesome!

2. Define Your Ideal Experience

Are you on a trip or a vacation? Because trust me, there’s a big difference…and we learned that the hard way.

Our recent “adventure” spanned 12 days, 3 countries, and 7 cities. Think planes, trains, and a whole lot of walking. By day four, we found ourselves having a full-on come to Jesus moment on a park bench in the middle of Paris.

Two of us were laser-focused on seeing the sights and doing all the things. One of us had dreams of a relaxing, slower-paced vacation. And the fourth just wanted peace and quiet (preferably alone, with headphones and a snack).

Turns out, when you’re not aligned on expectations, you get frustration as your bonus souvenir.

While I thought we had talked it through ahead of time, looking back, a sit-down chat with an itinerary review and some real talk about travel styles would’ve saved us a lot of stress. The key to success, sanity and survival is open, honest, and early communication.

Get clear before the trip…or prepare for some scenic meltdowns.

3. Pause Before You Speak

We have a lot of big personalities in my crew and none of us are short on words…or shy about using them. That said, I offered my peeps the acronym: T.H.I.N.K. to help us to pause before we spoke and determine if what we needed to say was: 

T - True

H - Helpful

I - Inspiring

N - Necessary

K - Kind

This was a lot of letters for my crew to remember so we had some fun asking ChatGPT to help us with a version that worked for us. We settled on PEP: 

P – Positive
E – Encouraging
P – Purposeful

That little pause saved a lot of energy and a few relationships...and gave us a little chuckle when we needed it.

4. Space Gives Grace

We built in breaks. Time to wander solo, read a book, hit the local pub, or just not talk. It gave everyone the recharge we needed to actually enjoy being together.

We even tried a safe word. When said aloud, it gave anyone permission to step away. No explanations required and no one had to feel bad. This was a small thing that made a big difference.

One afternoon, I took a solo stroll to meet Big Ben, then stretched out in the park in front of Westminster Abbey to people-watch and breathe. For me, the people-pleaser who usually absorbs everyone else’s energy and emotions, this was hard. I worried someone might be upset or feel abandoned. But the truth? No one was mad. Everyone needed space in their own way, and giving myself permission to take it was a big step. Turns out, a little space can bring a whole lot of peace.

5. Spin the Wheel (Yes, Really!)

This one started as a joke and ended up being a total game changer. My daughter is an au pair and uses a “spin the wheel” app to cut down on arguments with the kids she watches. I laughed... until we tried it. And then I downloaded it for myself like the grown adult I am.

Here’s how it works. You type in whatever decision you’re stuck on, give it a spin, and boom. Done. You either go with what it says, or if you feel a strong “Nope, that’s wrong,” well then, guess what—you actually do know what you want.

Two restaurant options? Spin the wheel.
Walk or take the train? Spin the wheel.
Buy the ring or keep looking? Spin. The. Wheel.

It’s fun, it’s weirdly satisfying, and it saved us from more than one stand-off.

If you want to give it a shot, here’s the one we used or just search “decision wheel” in your app store. Happy spinning.

6. Submit and Commit
I love having a little something to remember each trip. I give myself a “sort-of” budget and permission to go for it. I do the same for my kids. I contribute a set amount to their shopping and the rest is up to them. No whining, no guilt. Exploring and choosing something that makes you smile later is always worth it.

The opposite, buyer’s remorse, or worse yet, regret, can be a real downer when you’re trying to have a great experience and make memories. I promise you the amazing views on the guided boat tour or beautiful museums are worth it!

If budget is an issue, with a little research and some strategic planning (yep - we brought two boxes of cereal and protein bars to save money on breakfast), there’s an adventure waiting that’s right for you! The key is once you decide to do it…no second guessing. Just enjoy the moment!

7. Make Friends (Yes, Even If You’re an Introvert)
A simple “Where are you from?” can open up the best conversations and unexpected connections. Traveling in a non-English speaking country can be intimidating, but it can also be the ultimate icebreaker.

Every time we heard someone who sounded like they might be American, we leaned in. And by leaned in, I mean we pounced a little…politely, of course. That one question, where are you from?, often led to incredible stories, helpful recommendations, and sometimes even an emotional support group on the train platform.

Even my introverted 17-year-old found a few kindred spirits in the most unexpected places. These spontaneous conversations became such a special part of our trip, I’m already planning a whole blog post about it.

Turns out, “strangers” can be one of the best souvenirs you bring home.

Choose the Joy

Here’s the deal: travel isn’t perfect. But it’s rich with opportunity. You get to make memories, share laughter, and maybe even learn something new about the people you love, and yourself.

So as you head into your next family adventure, take a breath. Give yourself and everyone else a little space. And remember that even the detours make for great stories later.

And hey, if you need a little reading material for the flight or something to reset your mindset before you get back to work, grab a copy of my book 6 Steps in the Bright Direction. It’s not a juicy beach read, but it just might help you survive vacation and come back ready to take bold action in whatever season comes next.

Safe travels, friend. You’ve got this!