Grateful? Cancer Will Redefine That.

Today my gratitude list includes pizza, Kleenex, and a really good trip to the bathroom. Cancer will do that to a person.

When you go through something really hard, gratitude takes on a whole new meaning.

And I know what you’re thinking…
Oh no. Not another gratitude post.
The kind where we’re told to “just focus on the good things and everything will magically feel better.”

That’s not really how it works.

But it is true that when you focus on something good, you can’t be miserable and grateful at the same time. At least for me, it’s not possible.

Try it for a minute.

Think of something that is making you miserable.

…Oh. I have cancer.

Now turn it around.

…My body has the strength to hike today. My lungs are full of fresh air and my legs are carrying me forward.

Maybe tomorrow cancer will feel heavier again.

But today…Gratitude beats grumpy!

The last time we talked, I shared that pity and gratitude can coexist. I’ve since left the pity party and am ready to talk gratitude.

I try to end every day with a list of ten things I’m grateful for. And if I can’t find ten, I know it’s time to break out my bible app for a mental reset.

Right now I’m hiking through my favorite reserve (I’m voice recording this post:) It’s early March and I’m in a tank top! The sun is out, the air feels like spring, and my legs are carrying me up a big hill one step at a time.

Three rounds of chemo down, including the one they warned might take me out, and yet here I am.

Hiking. Breathing. Climbing.

That, my friends, is God in action! That is gratitude out loud.

And today, it looks like this.

My Gratitude List (for today:)

1. A completely normal bathroom moment.
Yep. Back to poop talk. After chemo GI side effects, I will never again take “normal” for granted.

2. Strength.
Three rounds of chemo down — including the one they warned might take me out — and I still had the strength to hike today and make it to boot camp twice this week.

3. My mentors.
Four women who have walked the breast cancer road ahead of me shared their experiences around lumpectomy vs. double mastectomy. ShineForward in action.

4. Eating out again.
We are foodies. But it’s no fun when your diet is limited to mashed potatoes and chicken. Feeling good enough to enjoy real meals and great company has been a gift.

5. Pizza!
This could be the entire list. I LOVE pizza and avoided it for fear of tummy issues. It did not disappoint.

6. My oldest heading back to Paris.
Her courage and sense of adventure remind me there is still so much life to be lived.

7. My high school senior’s opening night.
Watching her shine on stage fills my heart. And the fact that I’m well enough to attend is a gift.

8. Kleenex.
Because chemo has me blowing my nose approximately 472 times a day.

9. My husband.
Six simple words: I am grateful for my husband. He is my anchor, our provider, and my steady place.

10. All of you.
The prayers, messages, and support from friends, family, acquaintances, and even strangers around the world remind me I am not alone.

One Small Ask

Before you go today, try something with me.

Close your eyes for ten seconds. Think of one thing you’re grateful for. Let that one thing outweigh whatever is weighing you down.

Feel it. Hold onto it. And then share it.

With a friend.
With your spouse/partner.
With a coworker.
Even just out loud to yourself in the car.

Because I am 100% convinced that when we share gratitude, something changes.

In us.

And in others.

And that, my friends, is what ShiningForward✨ is all about.